Playing Alone? Why the Best Gift You Could Give Your Child is a Brother or Sister
“Ultimately, in championing procreation, we are restoring the value given to the most underrepresented and yet vital members of our society—our children. The better story is one of thriving siblings and their ability to provide one another with lifelong support and emotional maturity.”
In this paper, Colin Brazier delves into the pattern of declining fertility rates across the Western world, its impact on our children and the loss of ‘sibship’, and the case for championing pronatalism as a progressive cause.
Summary of Research Paper
Mind the Baby Gap
Papers are rife with stories about how couples are having fewer children, and how fertility rates are falling across the Western world. Many such stories celebrate these trends due to fears that an overpopulated world spells environmental disaster, and that women should be free to value their careers over children.
But are there negative aspects to falling fertility rates that a compassionate society should consider?
Sibship
In the demography debate, most of the focus has been on couples and factors influencing their fertility choices. But absent from the discussion is the impact of shrinking family sizes on children.
In particular, we as a culture seem to forget the value of siblings and the unique bond siblings share. As the average family size shrinks, children have fewer—or no—siblings. Siblings enjoy a special relationship. They provide children with ready playmates, confidants, and friends. Studies have shown that children with siblings have stronger interpersonal skills through their interactions with each other and are more empathetic, caring, and able to make and keep friends. Siblings are also there for each other during moments of profound loss and tragedy. When a parent dies, siblings are able to comfort and support each other. Simply put, siblings help children develop resilience and form healthy relationships.
We must shed light on this important data and encourage couples to have more children. More children benefits everyone—from that child’s siblings to their families to their broader communities and nations.
The Choice for Children
Yet, a great tragedy is that many couples do not have the number of children they would like to have, thus contributing to declining fertility rates and depriving their children of the invaluable bonds siblings create.
Consider the following data:
Polling data from the United States and the United Kingdom shows that most couples would like to have more children than the number of children they have had.
Consider the United States. American adults say they wanted to have an average of 2.7 children, compared with a fertility rate of 1.73.
Similar data emerged in the United Kingdom. British women said they would like 2.32 children, despite a fertility rate of 1.9.
It is clear couples need support to make the choice for children. The following factors can encourage couples to have more children and enjoy the family sizes they would like to have:
Choice: Couples often cite economic stress as the reason why they are not having more—or any—children. Policies that enable couples to have the children they would like to have will encourage couples to choose to expand their families.
Fairness: Fewer children means placing a larger burden on the young to support the old. Smaller family sizes also concentrate hereditary wealth in a way that increases economic inequality.
Kindness: We need to speak about “sibling poverty” with kindness, aware that those without siblings do not enjoy the same health or social outcomes that those with siblings do.
Sustainability: Multi-child households have smaller per-capita footprints than single-occupancy homes.
Representation: Policies often target dual-income, highly credentialed couples. Many women on lower incomes wish to spend more time with their children but cannot afford to not work. Pro-child, pro-family policies must reflect their circumstances so that all couples and families benefit.
Having more children, giving your child a brother or sister, is the best investment you can make in your child’s—and your family’s—future.
